I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
