Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
