I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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