She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
