In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
