My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
