Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
