So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
