i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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