I feel like abortions should bother me more
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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