She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
