well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Randomize
