you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
