I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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