A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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