Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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