So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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