can we get nightvision for the apartment?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
