dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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