I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
