I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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