I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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