I got chris browned last night
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
