We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
