the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
