I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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