Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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