dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
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He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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