I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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