I'm jealous of your bromance
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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