Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
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i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
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I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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