this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
