Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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