Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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