omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
