Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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