Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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