I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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