i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
