I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
