Barsexuality is the new black.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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