Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
