I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
me + whiskey = a bad person
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
