drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
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we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
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Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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