Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
