Where is the hickey?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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