You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
