there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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