what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
