The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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