Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
