I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
