5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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