I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
