OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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