she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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