I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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