Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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