The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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