Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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