that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
