A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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