that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize