I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
