what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize