I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
