What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
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Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
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what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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