Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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