i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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