Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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